OMG! Did he really say that? Prince Philip’s funniest pearls of wisdom

Updated: September 2, 2012

PRINCE Philip’s controversial one-liners have been immortalised in a list of 15 of his all-time classic quotes.

Newsreel organisation British Pathe scoured through 60 years of Royal footage in its archives for the Duke of Edinburgh’s pearls of wisdom.

The results are packed with gems, although one comment that did NOT make the list was his infamous 1986 quip that students might get ‘slitty eyes’ if they stayed in China.

The one-liners are part of a Philip gallery on the British Pathe website, which states: “The Duke of Edinburgh has many talents, but it is his unique way with words that often receives the most attention.”


Here are the 15 classic quotes:-


1 – To the President of Nigeria who was dressed in traditional robes he once remarked: “You look like you’re ready for bed!”


2 –In 1984 Philip asked a woman in Kenya: “You ARE a woman, aren’t you?”


3 – In 1995 he asked a Scottish driving instructor: “How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?”


4 – The Duke has made a couple of comments about singer Tom Jones. He said: “Do you gargle with pebbles to sing that way?” On another occasion, Philip said: “It’s difficult to see how it’s possible to become immensely valuable by singing what are the most hideous songs.”


5 – When speaking to a young boy who had dreams of becoming an astronaut he gave the following advice: “You could do with losing a little bit of weight.”


6 – When Prince Edward was accepted in to Jesus College, Cambridge despite only obtaining a lowly C and two Ds in his A-levels, Philip said: “What a friend we have in Jesus”


7Once in Australia a man said to the Prince: “My wife is a doctor of philosophy and much more important than I am”, to which he replied: “Ah yes, we have that trouble in our family too.”


8 – In 1961, he said to the Scottish Women’s Institute: “British women can’t cook”


9 – In 1965 when discussing a project to protect turtle doves in Anguilla, Philip said: “Cats kill far more birds than men. Why don’t you have a slogan: ‘Kill a cat and save a bird?’’


10 – On the subject of Royal finances in 1969 Prince Philip said: “We go into the red next year. I shall probably have to give up polo.”


11 – On hearing that Elton John had sold his gold Watford FC themed Aston Martin, the Duke said: “Oh, it’s you that owns that ghastly car – we often see it when driving to Windsor Castle.”


12 – To a nurse of at a hospital in the Caribbean he confided: “You have mosquitos. I have the Press.’


13 – In 1965, Prince Philip talked about his school days and quipped: “My favourite subject at school was avoiding unnecessary work”.


14 – In 2002 when he visited a Bangladeshi youth club, Philip pointed at a child and piped up: “So who’s on drugs here?… HE looks as if he’s on drugs.”


15 – Following a busy tour of New Zealand and Australia in 1968 he sighed: “As so often happens, I discover that it would have been better to keep my mouth shut.”


A spokesman for British Pathe added: “Prince Philip has a keen interest in science and technology so many of our videos show him visiting various nuclear stations, dams, early computer hubs and satellites.”


* You can view an archive gallery of Prince Philip at

(Photos: Courtesy British Pathe)


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Share via
Copy link
Powered by Social Snap